Identifying and Eliminating The Toxicity within Oneself

            

Toxicity has always existed in the society . It is a product of the human mind which stems from negative thoughts. A zillion thoughts engulf the  mind each day, which give rise to a myriad emotions that influence a person's behavior. There is some amount of toxicity in every individual, no matter how good one is. Ironically, the presence of toxicity is always identified in others rather than the self.  The emotions commonly associated with toxicity are anger, greed, insecurity and envy but apart from these 'self pity' is also one of the most common toxic feeling one can harbour. 

Individuals who are at the recieveing end  in a toxic environment often seek help. But people who vent  their negativity  by exploding on others fail to  identify the  toxicity within themselves. They justify their inappropriate behaviour by blaming others. The Bhagwad Gita teaches individuals  to identify the negative emotions in oneself and cleanse the heart and mind through meditation and prayer.  Everybody experiences  negativity at the most difficult phases of life but identifying the negative thoughts  and eliminating them by exercising control over the mind will prevent people from destroying relationships. 

Introspection is the key to overcome negativity. Prayer and meditation are the two medicines that  can help us get rid of toxicity. We use one finger to point at the mistakes of others but forget that the other four are pointing towards us. When people take accountability for their thoughts, speech and actions, there will be a healthy environment for all to thrive. If we focus our senses inwards in search of the divine  situated within us as Paramatma, we shall find eternal happiness and the chaos of the outside world will fail to stir up our emotions. We can always be happy , calm and peaceful only when we discover our inner light; connect with the Supreme being situated in our hearts.

When  toxic thoughts give rise to feelings of insecurity, fear, helplessness, anger, despair, envy, vengeance, hatred, etc,., remembering the name of the divine acts as a process of self purification and elevates us towards the higher self.

Bg. 4.10

वीतरागभयक्रोधा मन्मया मामुपाश्रिताः ।
बहवो ज्ञानतपसा पूता मद्भ‍ावमागताः ॥ १० ॥

vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhā
man-mayā mām upāśritāḥ
bahavo jñāna-tapasā
pūtā mad-bhāvam āgatāḥ

Translation

Being freed from attachment, fear and anger, being fully absorbed in Me and taking refuge in Me, many, many persons in the past became purified by knowledge of Me – and thus they all attained transcendental love for Me.

Are You Growing Together Or Growing Apart?

 

Life always teaches us valuable lessons through the experiences we go through provided we are willing to listen . These experiences help us grow as individuals, shaping our identity, thoughts, beliefs, priorities, likes and dislikes. The values instilled by parents largely influence the thoughts and beliefs of the members of family but as they venture into the outside world meeting new people, embracing new environments their perspectives also change.

 Individuals realise that they no longer relate to each other because of the transformation in their perception of life. This is the time when relationships tend to fall apart and conflicts arise due to differences. People become judgemental and start criticizing,  instead of understanding and supporting each other. Familial ties weaken and the unconditional love which a family is supposed to give gradually withers away.

The secret to maintaining healthy relationships in this ever-changing world is Acceptance. All we need to do is to acknowledge each other’s needs and  perspectives, respecting each other for the choices they have made and the path they have chosen. We all can grow together, only when there is mutual love and respect.

Growing together or growing apart is always a choice one has to make . If you are struggling with relationships, pause for a moment and ask yourself, are you growing together or growing apart?

Overpowering The Tsunami of Emotions

 Overpowering The Tsunami of Emotions

Human emotions are like the tsunami, having the power to destroy our sanity in the most unexpected moments. The onslaught of emotions can diminish our capacity to think and behave appropriately at the given time and situation.

Negative emotions like anger, greed, and envy are the ones which create maximum havoc. In a fit of rage people explode in anger, heaping it either on their loved ones or on the concerned person with whom they have an issue. Rude words are spoken impulsively which not only hurt the victims but leave lasting impression on their hearts. Uncontrolled violent emotions break relationships which then become difficult to mend. It is often the inadequacy in dealing with the external environment, inability to accept oneself or exercise self – control,  that compels people to behave in such a manner. 

If we contemplate on the solution, the best remedy would be to turn towards the divine. Bhagawan Shri Krishna is also known as “Hrishikesha” or the controller of senses. When we connect with God and confide in Him, our negative emotions will gradually subside. The spiritual gurus lay emphasis on practicing ‘Yoga’ (connecting with God), which can be done through meditation or chanting the name of ‘Ishta Devatha’.

If we set aside sometime for God on a daily basis, and share our deepest fears, insecurities and concerns when we feel low and miserable, life will be so much better. The people around us will no longer be victims of our negativity. No matter what happens in life, we should always keep smiling and spreading positivity.

Negative emotions are inevitable but whenever we feel overwhelmed by them, we need to remind ourselves that Krishna is the ultimate controller of our senses. Hence remembering him constantly and chanting His name can save us from the tsunami of emotions.

Bhagwan Shri Krishna says the following to Arjuna in Bhagwad Gita:

Bg. 2.61

तानि सर्वाणि संयम्य युक्त आसीत मत्परः ।
वशे हि यस्येन्द्रियाणि तस्य प्रज्ञा प्रतिष्ठिता ॥ ६१ ॥

tāni sarvāṇi saṁyamya
yukta āsīta mat-paraḥ
vaśe hi yasyendriyāṇi
tasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā

Translation

One who restrains his senses, keeping them under full control, and fixes his consciousness upon Me, is known as a man of steady intelligence.

Are We Progressing?

 

The term progress signifies improvement or success in one’s life. We all have a habit of checking upon ourselves, analysing how much we have progressed in life and the standard rule for doing this is comparing ourselves with others. It is human tendency to check whether we are doing better than the people around us. Most of us measure progress in materialistic terms, especially our possessions and lifestyle. Some measure progress in terms of awards, rewards and the recognition they have received in the society.

We often pay very little attention to how far we have progressed as individuals, in terms of our ability to resolve conflicts, our temperament, our understanding of others and the strength of our relationships. These are the real issues that need to be addressed as they signify progress of our own self as individuals which is of utmost importance in life.

Patience in the face of adversity is progress. Stability amidst chaos is progress. The ability to be happy in all circumstances is progress. Controlling anger and remaining silent in the most difficult situations is progress. Setting boundaries in relationships and being respectful towards our fellow beings is progress. Being mindful and content with life is progress. These are the milestones that mark the growth of every individual. True progress lies in overcoming your vices and becoming a sensible person, finding your own path, walking at your own pace and refusing to be a part of the rat race.

So, are you progressing?

Time to introspect and find the answer for yourself.

Bhagwan Shri Krishna says the following to Arjuna:

Bg. 6.5

उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत् ।

आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मन: ॥ ५ ॥

uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ

nātmānam avasādayet

ātmaiva hy ātmano bandhur

ātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥ

Translation

One must deliver himself with the help of his mind, and not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.

My heartfelt gratitude to my mentor Prof Shalini R Pujari for her guidance in this spiritual journey.

The Art Of Letting Go

 

In this beautiful journey of life we are meant to evolve,  gain wisdom and grow from all the experiences that we have gained. The good and bad, the ugly and beautiful, the joys and sorrows are the various chapters that teach us invaluable lessons. 

The river is the perfect example of how one should go with the flow. It is unstoppable. It is a symbol of  strength, as it embraces everything that comes along its path without losing it’s true essence. The river teaches us to be persistent, as it keeps flowing through the toughest terrains. It also teaches us to be resilient as it possess the power to overcome any barrier or obstacle that comes in the way.

It is human nature to cling on to people, situations and circumstances which are not good for our well being. This attachment often causes great sorrow and it is the baggage of disappointments that often weighs us down. We fail to understand that certain situations, people and circumstances are beyond our control. The best we can do is accept things as they are and move on. The only way forward is to adopt a new perspective and let go of that which is not good for us without any resentment or regrets. What is meant for us will definitely come along. We must have confidence in our self and immense faith in God.

It is impermanence that makes life beautiful. When we realise that everything in life is temporary we will have no fear of losing anything. We will learn to let go and  rebuild ourselves even if life breaks us. Living with a sense of detachment helps us grow and become the best version of ourselves. We can retain our true self only when we accept the unchangeable, adapt to new perspectives and go with the flow, embracing each chapter of life as it comes.

“Train Yourself to let go 

Of everything you fear to lose

That is the key to happiness”

_Buddha.

The Power of Intentions

 

A thought has the power to transform lives and it is our thought process that determines the quality of our life. One of the important lessons we are taught in the early stages of life is to ‘think before we act’, yet all that people do is focus on the consequences or outcome of their actions and not the quality of their thoughts.  The mind carefully executes every deed but one does not really ponder about the intention behind an act or the purity of thought.

Majority of the problems that exist in the world are because of lack of clarity in thought. The challenges faced in everyday life forces humankind to act without thinking or encourages wrong thinking. People lead a life of pretence and although their conscience tells them to follow the path of goodness, the stubborn mind overpowers the conscience and compels them to strive for sake of survival. They put up a façade either to live up to the standards set by the society or to fulfil the expectations of family. While they appear perfect to the outside world, their inner self deteriorates day by day causing emotional turmoil, feelings of insecurity, hatred and jealousy towards others.

Purity of thought can be attained only when we learn to be honest with ourselves and others. It is possible to be our true self, without hurting others, only when our intentions are pure and we are able to communicate effectively with the people around us.

Our intentions have the power to make or break our life. Hence it is our responsibility to work towards the purification of our heart, mind and thoughts. Individuals should work on developing their character and not just on enhancing reputation. Our character is our true self while our reputation is what others think of us, a false identity. Once we learn to conquer our mind and work with good intentions, then the divine works through us, guiding and helping us to live a meaningful life. 

Bhagwan Shri Krishna says the following in shloka B G 

                                   Bg. 6.6

बन्धुरात्मात्मनस्तस्य येनात्मैवात्मना जित: ।

अनात्मनस्तु शत्रुत्वे वर्तेतात्मैव शत्रुवत् ॥ ६ ॥

bandhur ātmātmanas tasya

yenātmaivātmanā jitaḥ

anātmanas tu śatrutve

vartetātmaiva śatru-vat

Translation

For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his mind will remain the greatest enemy.