The BITTER Self

Every individual has a bitter self- the negative emotion. Anger, hatred, envy, the list is endless. Both emotions positive and negative as a whole make a human persona. No individual is devoid of these emotions. Some of them let these negative emotions rule them, to such an extent that they subconsciously harm themselves and intentionally people around. Toxic people: as they are commonly referred to by those who dread their presence.

Understanding and Dealing with a Toxic Person:

Negativity:  They never see the good in any situation. Their pessimistic nature dampens the spirits of the most enthusiastic souls . They always wish the world comes to an end and so do their problems.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Help them change their perspective and acknowledge the beauty of life

Inflated Ego: Highly sensitive and egoistic, they cannot hear a word against themselves but are very good at picking others flaws. In any given situation they are always Right!

Perfection is a myth they should know. To err is human, bring them back to reality.

Self-pity : “I am the sufferer”; “I am the most hardworking” they are obsessive and cannot look beyond themselves. Using self pity to justify themselves, is something that they love the most.

Everyone has problems, you never know what others are going through. Help them shift focus from "me" to "we".

Envy: Someones happiness reminds them about their own misery.  Others success reminds them of their own failures.These individuals constantly compare themselves with Others, hence remain unhappy!

Contentment is the key to happiness, they need to know.

Revenge: They seek revenge for the smallest acts. Humiliating and laughing at people they dislike, for their own pleasure. Compassion does not exist in their dictionary.

Learning to let go brings peace. You cannot survive with an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth strategy.

Criticism: Toxic people often judge others, they never mind criticizing their near and dear ones for trivial reasons.They master the art of portraying people in a bad light.

The world is full of critics, ask them to be an encourager.

Irrational: They fail to realize that life does not go according to our plans. We need to adapt to Life. Hence Bitter!

Take life as it comes! They need to know.

Dominating: They try their best to control other people's  life because they have no control over their own. Literally suffocating their victims.

Educate them to live and let live!

Inconsistency: They are good to you when the need arises but stab you in the back when they perceive you as an obstacle in their path.

There is nothing more painful than having an enemy in disguise.

One who comes across Toxic people should know that distancing them is not the only solution.  Confrontation is the ideal way to put an end to the troubles they inflict. They can make life miserable if Ignored.

Life experiences are meant to enrich us. Accept the good things as blessings and the bad ones as lessons. Our inability to cope up with the adversities is what makes us bitter. Dealing with Toxic people is quite a task. Healing them with Compassion is the need of the hour.

“ Toxic people will not be changed by the Alchemy of your kindness. Yes! Be kind, but move on swiftly and let Life be their Educator.”_ Brendon Burchard.

Just a HOUSEWIFE!

Soaring past the white clouds scattered, in the vast blue sky was a great feeling. This is where she wanted to be. This is what she wanted to experience- ABSOLUTE FREEDOM. She aimed to reach the sun, moon and the stars. Taking charge as a pilot was a dream come true for Roohi. She was beaming with pride. All of a Sudden! she lost control, the plane seemed to be headed for a crash. She struggled to control the situation, alas!

Trrrrrrink! Trrrrrrink! rang the alarm bell. Roohi woke up startled and breathless,her heart beats racing. She desperately looked around only to find herself at home! Gosh!! Another dream, she was still alive, she pinched her self to make sure this was real. Oh my god! It was time for school. She rushed to wake up her daughters. Dressed them up, packed their Tiffin and sent them to school.

She sat sipping a hot cup of tea, thinking about her dream. “That’s never going to be true” she thought “I’m far from achieving it! Why does it trouble me every now and then!”

As she prepared breakfast for her husband, her mother in law walked into the kitchen. “We will have around six guests for lunch today. I would prefer Punjabi dishes on the menu. Make sure you are done by 1 pm!” Roohi obliged.

The otherwise dull living room came alive with non stop chatter! The guests seemed pretty excited, school friends had finally met over decades. Roohi entered the living room with a tray full of Punjabi starters: paneer tikka and tandoori baby corn. As she placed the dishes on the table her mother in law introduced her to her friends. “This is Roohi my daughter in law” she said. “ You have a lovely daughter in law Seema!” exclaimed a friend. “What do you do dear!” Asked another. “Oh! She's JUST A HOUSEWIFE ” her mother in law quickly replied as though there was nothing else to say about Roohi. “Aren’t you bored at home all day, have you never wished to work?” asked a friend. “Work? I will be very happy if she finds a job but managing home and kids, leaves her so exhausted. I don’t think she has time for a career !” snapped Seema; Roohi's mother in law.

Trapped in the conservative mind-set, Roohi had never focused on her dreams. She was far from being ambitious. She had always been told that family should be a woman's priority. Early marriage and two kids had taken up all her time. She only dreamt about freedom to live a life of her choice! Her mother in law's sarcastic statement crushed her self esteem.

While she was feeding her younger daughter in the evening , her elder daughter came running holding the news paper “Mamma look what I found, there is an Aviation Academy in our city. Why don’t you enroll for the pilot training course!” Pihu knew what her mother had been longing for, she had always seen the despair in her mother’s eyes. “It’s time you pursue your dreams Roohi.” came a voice from behind. It was Aashish, Roohi’s husband. “We can manage ourselves” he added. Pihu  jumped in excitement “ Yes momma! I will take care of my little sis, you don't worry.” Roohi was taken aback by the turn of events.

Before she realized what was happening, she could hear her mother in law screaming at Aashish. “Have you gone mad! You don’t care about your mother. You expect me to run the house at this age? Ridiculous!” a heated argument followed between the mother and son.

The next morning Roohi headed to the Aviation Academy with Aashish for an aptitude test. This was the most promising day of her life. As she awaited her turn at the academy a fellow candidate introduced herself “Hi I’m Neha! Pretty excited to be here.” Roohi smiled and said, "Same here!". "what do you do?” she casually asked the candidate. “Me? I’m JUST A HOUSEWIFE!” was her reply. Roohi quickly shot back “ Do your best today and you will never have to say that again!”

 As Walt Disney quotes “All your Dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them!”