Monday, March 5, 2018

Befriending Solitude




Tic- tock! Tick- tock! the sound of the clock magnified with each passing hour amidst the deafening silence. Life seemed to have come to a stand still. There was no commotion outside: neither people moving around nor the sound of vehicles. The creaky sound of the swing from the park, children screaming at each other, parents chatting amongst themselves, conversations of the outside world had gradually subsided.

Sumathy amma switched on the television. The daily soap was being aired. A family drama which she enjoyed watching many years ago seemed uninteresting, she couldn't relate to it anymore. She switched off the television, bored yet restless.

She thought of completing her pending chores. So many clothes to alter, ladies blouses and children's uniforms. Her fingers were sore , they refused to comply to her wishes after a hard day at work. She sat on the sofa gazing at the wall, her thoughts were the only companion at the moment.

Memories from the past flooded her mind. She could recollect her little daughter running around the house refusing to finish her food. “When will you grow up and learn to eat on your own.” “ I’m too tired now, stop troubling me!” She would often say. Life then had been so busy around family. Today she regretted saying that. Family was something that existed  back then. Her husband and daughter, her world. Every moment revolved around them.

 Years later, her daughter moved to her “rightful place” post wedding, busy making  a new home. Sumathy amma’s world shrunk a little, now fitting just the two of them. Husband and wife both gracefully accepted this new phase. They spent a lot of quality time together, reading, cooking, visiting temples, watching movies, dining out, listening to music and travelling. There was so much to explore even at this age. It seemed as though they had all the time on earth for themselves.

On a fateful day, a loving heart stopped beating. Sumathy amma’s husband's journey came to an end. We all come alone and go alone. Nothing remains except our sweet memories in this mortal world. Whether it rains or shines life must go on.

Sumathy amma tried hard to gather the broken pieces of her life and moved on. There was nobody she could go to nor anyone who needed her. It was against the rules of the society to expect anything from her daughter. “Anaatho daiva rakshakam"(meaning he who has no one is always taken care by the almighty.)-The popular phrase from the Bhagwad Gita  echoed in her ears. She sat clueless for hours trying to find a solution to overcome her despair.

The next day a lady came in “ Hello amma! I just read the board outside. Do you stitch ladies blouses?” “Yes Dear!” she replied, from then on there was no looking back. Sumathy amma was always busy with ladies of all age groups coming to her for tailoring work and petty alterations. Her skills gave her a new lease of life.

The darkness of the night had multiplied with every passing moment, what a long night it was! and well spent recollecting memories. She could soon hear the chirping of birds. What a relief! She was glad that it was time for sunrise! The new rays of the sun every morning, inspired her to live and love life.

A couple of hours later the gnawing silence faded away making way for conversations, queries, cheer and mirth. People came in one by one looking for her.Some of her customers would drop in for a chat and others to get their work done. These customers soon  became her friends and well wishers. Sumathy Amma greeted everyone with her lovely toothless smile. She got her share of happiness BEFRIENDING SOLITUDE!

“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself!”-Laurence Sterne






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