Vande Guru Paramparam

The stage was set for the performance. The violinist, vocalists and the mridangam artist took their respective places. The programme commenced with Ganesha stuti. A string of melodies enthralled the audience. The performers received a huge round of applause!

The students were beaming with joy. It was their first performance. They thanked their Guru for helping them achieve their dreams. This big day had come after years of hard work and dedication. These aspiring singers always yearned to learn more but their Guru insisted on teaching them the importance of music first. Singing in tune or memorizing the lyrics isn't  enough. A soulful rendition also known as ‘Manodharma’is the ultimate goal in music. How does one achieve that?

Sangeetha in sanskrit means a Good Song. "What makes a song good?" The students had once questioned their Guru. “A song connects the Atma to the Paramatma" she said. “Since the paramatma resides in our heart, sangeetha is a way of worship. He who sings with heartfelt devotion does not have to seek the supreme god elsewhere! Thus a song is a celebration of this beautiful relationship!” remarked the Guru. “There is no competition in music, no one superior or inferior. It is an individual's connection with his creator.”

“Why do we perform then?” asked another student. “Don’t people sing to impress?” He added. “No!” said the Guru.” “We perform to share our joy with others!”

Since then the students had put in their heart and soul into every kriti (composition) they learnt. Classroom had become a centre of spiritual enlightenment. Bhakti rasa, karunya rasa, vatsalya rasa, veera rasa, shringara rasa...so many emotions came alive with their respective ragas. They also learnt about great spiritual leaders like Basavanna and  Akka Mahadevi who through their vachanas(compositions in the form of prose or poetry) strived to eradicate  the social evils such as discrimination based on caste and creed, prevalent in those times. The dedication of the Sangeetha Trimurtis- Saint Thyagaraja, Muthuswamy Dikshitar and Shyama Shastri inspired them to be more passionate about their work.

As they delved deeper into the vast ocean of knowledge their understanding of life improved tremendously. Their vision extended beyond the unseen, unknown, infinite and inexplicable. Their Guru helped them emerge from the darkness of ignorance. Vande Guru Paramparam.

Befriending Solitude

Tic- tock! Tick- tock! the sound of the clock magnified with each passing hour amidst the deafening silence. Life seemed to have come to a stand still. There was no commotion outside: neither people moving around nor the sound of vehicles. The creaky sound of the swing from the park, children screaming at each other, parents chatting amongst themselves, conversations of the outside world had gradually subsided.

Sumathy amma switched on the television. The daily soap was being aired. A family drama which she enjoyed watching many years ago seemed uninteresting, she couldn't relate to it anymore. She switched off the television, bored yet restless.

She thought of completing her pending chores. So many clothes to alter, ladies blouses and children's uniforms. Her fingers were sore , they refused to comply to her wishes after a hard day at work. She sat on the sofa gazing at the wall, her thoughts were the only companion at the moment.

Memories from the past flooded her mind. She could recollect her little daughter running around the house refusing to finish her food. “When will you grow up and learn to eat on your own.” “ I’m too tired now, stop troubling me!” She would often say. Life then had been so busy around family. Today she regretted saying that. Family was something that existed  back then. Her husband and daughter, her world. Every moment revolved around them.

 Years later, her daughter moved to her “rightful place” post wedding, busy making  a new home. Sumathy amma’s world shrunk a little, now fitting just the two of them. Husband and wife both gracefully accepted this new phase. They spent a lot of quality time together, reading, cooking, visiting temples, watching movies, dining out, listening to music and travelling. There was so much to explore even at this age. It seemed as though they had all the time on earth for themselves.

On a fateful day, a loving heart stopped beating. Sumathy amma’s husband's journey came to an end. We all come alone and go alone. Nothing remains except our sweet memories in this mortal world. Whether it rains or shines life must go on.

Sumathy amma tried hard to gather the broken pieces of her life and moved on. There was nobody she could go to nor anyone who needed her. It was against the rules of the society to expect anything from her daughter. “Anaatho daiva rakshakam"(meaning he who has no one is always taken care by the almighty.)-The popular phrase from the Bhagwad Gita  echoed in her ears. She sat clueless for hours trying to find a solution to overcome her despair.

The next day a lady came in “ Hello amma! I just read the board outside. Do you stitch ladies blouses?” “Yes Dear!” she replied, from then on there was no looking back. Sumathy amma was always busy with ladies of all age groups coming to her for tailoring work and petty alterations. Her skills gave her a new lease of life.

The darkness of the night had multiplied with every passing moment, what a long night it was! and well spent recollecting memories. She could soon hear the chirping of birds. What a relief! She was glad that it was time for sunrise! The new rays of the sun every morning, inspired her to live and love life.

A couple of hours later the gnawing silence faded away making way for conversations, queries, cheer and mirth. People came in one by one looking for her.Some of her customers would drop in for a chat and others to get their work done. These customers soon  became her friends and well wishers. Sumathy Amma greeted everyone with her lovely toothless smile. She got her share of happiness BEFRIENDING SOLITUDE!

“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself!”-Laurence Sterne

In Pursuit of Happiness

“Happy Children's day!” screamed the crazy bunch of friends, as they posed for a video followed by selfies! The entire neighbourhood lit up in joy watching these lovely mommies and their kids, celebrating together outside their homes. What made them special was their enthusiasm and simplicity. Bhoomi the beloved member of the group, distributed chocolates among one and all. Bhoomi , Vani and Savi were the most wonderful souls one could ever come across. Their love for life was amazing. It was their idea to celebrate children's day in this manner, bringing back memories of childhood. Their children too loved this novel idea of having a party with mommy and friends.

The happiest memories are associated with childhood, pure and blissful. As we grow older, we get so occupied with responsibilities that we forget the child in us. That little innocent soul who wants to explore the world, gain knowledge, discover new things, loves people as they are, gets completely engrossed in this materialistic world; forgetting the true essence of life- simplicity!

Happiness lies in small things, we get to hear this phrase quite often! The spiritual leaders talk about finding happiness within. How exactly does one learn to be HAPPY despite all the odds in life? When the mind is engulfed by darkness, heart filled with misery and insecurities. If we look around we can find a lot of unhappy people, dissatisfied with life. Eliminating the darkness within seems an impossible task. That is when people like Bhoomi Vani and Savi inspire us to take a new perspective towards the otherwise mundane life.

The beauty of life lies in simplicity. Spending time with family is more important than spending money on them. Bonding with loved ones over a small cup of coffee and conversation is far more satisfying than spending hours sulking about unnecessary things. Focusing on what to be done today makes more sense than worrying about the future. Asking for help is much better than pretending to be alright. Expecting less and accepting people as they are is more gratifying. Respecting another’s opinion without being offended brings peace. Spending time with people who love you brings joy.  Fill your heart with love for others, let the Ego perish. Be kind and good for no reason. Help people without expecting any favours. It’s the most minute things we need to focus on to find true happiness. Most importantly a positive approach towards life!

“Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with Love, Grace and Gratitude.”_ Denis Waitley.

The BITTER Self

Every individual has a bitter self- the negative emotion. Anger, hatred, envy, the list is endless. Both emotions positive and negative as a whole make a human persona. No individual is devoid of these emotions. Some of them let these negative emotions rule them, to such an extent that they subconsciously harm themselves and intentionally people around. Toxic people: as they are commonly referred to by those who dread their presence.

Understanding and Dealing with a Toxic Person:

Negativity:  They never see the good in any situation. Their pessimistic nature dampens the spirits of the most enthusiastic souls . They always wish the world comes to an end and so do their problems.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Help them change their perspective and acknowledge the beauty of life

Inflated Ego: Highly sensitive and egoistic, they cannot hear a word against themselves but are very good at picking others flaws. In any given situation they are always Right!

Perfection is a myth they should know. To err is human, bring them back to reality.

Self-pity : “I am the sufferer”; “I am the most hardworking” they are obsessive and cannot look beyond themselves. Using self pity to justify themselves, is something that they love the most.

Everyone has problems, you never know what others are going through. Help them shift focus from "me" to "we".

Envy: Someones happiness reminds them about their own misery.  Others success reminds them of their own failures.These individuals constantly compare themselves with Others, hence remain unhappy!

Contentment is the key to happiness, they need to know.

Revenge: They seek revenge for the smallest acts. Humiliating and laughing at people they dislike, for their own pleasure. Compassion does not exist in their dictionary.

Learning to let go brings peace. You cannot survive with an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth strategy.

Criticism: Toxic people often judge others, they never mind criticizing their near and dear ones for trivial reasons.They master the art of portraying people in a bad light.

The world is full of critics, ask them to be an encourager.

Irrational: They fail to realize that life does not go according to our plans. We need to adapt to Life. Hence Bitter!

Take life as it comes! They need to know.

Dominating: They try their best to control other people's  life because they have no control over their own. Literally suffocating their victims.

Educate them to live and let live!

Inconsistency: They are good to you when the need arises but stab you in the back when they perceive you as an obstacle in their path.

There is nothing more painful than having an enemy in disguise.

One who comes across Toxic people should know that distancing them is not the only solution.  Confrontation is the ideal way to put an end to the troubles they inflict. They can make life miserable if Ignored.

Life experiences are meant to enrich us. Accept the good things as blessings and the bad ones as lessons. Our inability to cope up with the adversities is what makes us bitter. Dealing with Toxic people is quite a task. Healing them with Compassion is the need of the hour.

“ Toxic people will not be changed by the Alchemy of your kindness. Yes! Be kind, but move on swiftly and let Life be their Educator.”_ Brendon Burchard.

Just a HOUSEWIFE!

Soaring past the white clouds scattered, in the vast blue sky was a great feeling. This is where she wanted to be. This is what she wanted to experience- ABSOLUTE FREEDOM. She aimed to reach the sun, moon and the stars. Taking charge as a pilot was a dream come true for Roohi. She was beaming with pride. All of a Sudden! she lost control, the plane seemed to be headed for a crash. She struggled to control the situation, alas!

Trrrrrrink! Trrrrrrink! rang the alarm bell. Roohi woke up startled and breathless,her heart beats racing. She desperately looked around only to find herself at home! Gosh!! Another dream, she was still alive, she pinched her self to make sure this was real. Oh my god! It was time for school. She rushed to wake up her daughters. Dressed them up, packed their Tiffin and sent them to school.

She sat sipping a hot cup of tea, thinking about her dream. “That’s never going to be true” she thought “I’m far from achieving it! Why does it trouble me every now and then!”

As she prepared breakfast for her husband, her mother in law walked into the kitchen. “We will have around six guests for lunch today. I would prefer Punjabi dishes on the menu. Make sure you are done by 1 pm!” Roohi obliged.

The otherwise dull living room came alive with non stop chatter! The guests seemed pretty excited, school friends had finally met over decades. Roohi entered the living room with a tray full of Punjabi starters: paneer tikka and tandoori baby corn. As she placed the dishes on the table her mother in law introduced her to her friends. “This is Roohi my daughter in law” she said. “ You have a lovely daughter in law Seema!” exclaimed a friend. “What do you do dear!” Asked another. “Oh! She's JUST A HOUSEWIFE ” her mother in law quickly replied as though there was nothing else to say about Roohi. “Aren’t you bored at home all day, have you never wished to work?” asked a friend. “Work? I will be very happy if she finds a job but managing home and kids, leaves her so exhausted. I don’t think she has time for a career !” snapped Seema; Roohi's mother in law.

Trapped in the conservative mind-set, Roohi had never focused on her dreams. She was far from being ambitious. She had always been told that family should be a woman's priority. Early marriage and two kids had taken up all her time. She only dreamt about freedom to live a life of her choice! Her mother in law's sarcastic statement crushed her self esteem.

While she was feeding her younger daughter in the evening , her elder daughter came running holding the news paper “Mamma look what I found, there is an Aviation Academy in our city. Why don’t you enroll for the pilot training course!” Pihu knew what her mother had been longing for, she had always seen the despair in her mother’s eyes. “It’s time you pursue your dreams Roohi.” came a voice from behind. It was Aashish, Roohi’s husband. “We can manage ourselves” he added. Pihu  jumped in excitement “ Yes momma! I will take care of my little sis, you don't worry.” Roohi was taken aback by the turn of events.

Before she realized what was happening, she could hear her mother in law screaming at Aashish. “Have you gone mad! You don’t care about your mother. You expect me to run the house at this age? Ridiculous!” a heated argument followed between the mother and son.

The next morning Roohi headed to the Aviation Academy with Aashish for an aptitude test. This was the most promising day of her life. As she awaited her turn at the academy a fellow candidate introduced herself “Hi I’m Neha! Pretty excited to be here.” Roohi smiled and said, "Same here!". "what do you do?” she casually asked the candidate. “Me? I’m JUST A HOUSEWIFE!” was her reply. Roohi quickly shot back “ Do your best today and you will never have to say that again!”

 As Walt Disney quotes “All your Dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them!”