Essence Of Dharma

 

The Human Mind is constantly engaged in the battle between Right and Wrong. One is either trying hard to be Right or judging others for being not so Right. What we need the most is to accept people the way they are and focus on the well being of one and all. What is right for One may not be right for the Other. It’s a matter of perspective and the circumstances that influence peoples behaviour. 

 

Everything in the world belongs to God, everything is a part of him. He who has truly realised God, cannot hate anyone. God gives innumerable chances for people to correct their mistakes but never rejects them. The law of Karma makes people face the consequences of their actions, helping them to work towards betterment of Self, aiding spiritual growth. His unconditional love makes room for the weakest, the cruelest  and the most imperfect. This is Dharma.

 

Dharma is acceptance, empathy, unconditional love, working towards the well being of others. When we stop loving, we embrace Adharma. We judge, condemn, and reject people. Invalidate them in hatred. We stop being generous, become mean minded, petty, clingy, stingy and possessive. We are often clueless and confused, in search of wisdom and direction. We forget the path to the Supreme Being. We entrap ourselves in rigid, narrow mind-sets. 

 

In the pursuit of wealth and power, we fail to empower others. In our lack of wisdom, we lose the golden opportunity to enjoy life, make life enjoyable for others and find joy in giving not just taking.

 

Life is difficult and people are imperfect. In the struggle for survival, to cope up with the vagaries of this world, everyone makes mistakes. True love is the ability to love people, despite their mistakes.

 

Dharma is about the human ability to share and care, about giving, not just taking. It is about realising  the spiritual reality through material reality. It is about questioning the notions of property and identifying the root cause of greed , envy, rage and hate.

 

 It is about realising that in every human being is a frightened beast, seeking survival and significance and knowing that humans can outgrow this beast only through EMPATHY . This process of outgrowing the beast is the process of discovering GOD. 

 

The Bhagwad Gita provides us a true understanding of life, that which prevents false interpretations of circumstances and false expectations from the world. An enlightened heart loses its craving for power and embraces love. Life becomes blissful if we participate in it rather than trying to seek control over it. The ultimate Goal being Spiritual Reality.

ATMA and AHAM

Atma the soul is indestructible. Atma defies all laws of nature- it has no form, it cannot be measured, it cannot be experienced using any of the five senses. It is a self assured entity that does not seek acknowledgement or evidence. One has to believe in it. There is no other way to access it. Atma is the essence and objective reality of all forms of life.

Brahma (the creator) has no faith. He refuses to look beyond the flesh. He ignores Atma, and so catalysed the creation of Aham, the Ego. The ego is a product of imagination. It is how a human being sees himself or herself. It makes humans demand special status in nature and culture.

Brahma is every human being. He is described as emerging from a lotus, a metaphor for a child emerging out of the mothers womb. This is also a metaphor for the gradual unfolding of the imagination.

Every human being is subject to his own imagination of his self and the world around him, thus imagines himself to be special. Every human being is thus Brahma, creator of his own Brahmanda(subjective reality).

Prakriti(Nature) is the objective reality and Brahmanda ( A man’s imagination of himself and the world around him) is the subjective reality. 

Atma witnesses Prakriti whereas Aham constructs Brahmanda.

Human self image is expanded beyond the body and includes possessions. His world is spilt into three parts Me ( mind and body) , Mine ( property, knowledge,family and nature) Not Mine (things that exist in the world over which he has no authority).

The concept of Me and Mine is humankind’s greatest delusion through which humanity seeks to generate meaning and Identity. Tranquility is lost when human yearns for that which does not belong to him, leading to anxiety and restlessness.

Realisation of the true nature of existence helps in destroying the Aham( ego). To attain this one must look inward,work towards a better understanding of Atma the Soul. When human becomes aware of his mortality, he does not seek materialistic gratification. His fears cease to exist and he learns to live in harmony with Nature.


References: Devdutt Patnaik- 7 secrets of Shiva

Vande Guru Paramparam

The stage was set for the performance. The violinist, vocalists and the mridangam artist took their respective places. The programme commenced with Ganesha stuti. A string of melodies enthralled the audience. The performers received a huge round of applause!

The students were beaming with joy. It was their first performance. They thanked their Guru for helping them achieve their dreams. This big day had come after years of hard work and dedication. These aspiring singers always yearned to learn more but their Guru insisted on teaching them the importance of music first. Singing in tune or memorizing the lyrics isn't  enough. A soulful rendition also known as ‘Manodharma’is the ultimate goal in music. How does one achieve that?

Sangeetha in sanskrit means a Good Song. "What makes a song good?" The students had once questioned their Guru. “A song connects the Atma to the Paramatma" she said. “Since the paramatma resides in our heart, sangeetha is a way of worship. He who sings with heartfelt devotion does not have to seek the supreme god elsewhere! Thus a song is a celebration of this beautiful relationship!” remarked the Guru. “There is no competition in music, no one superior or inferior. It is an individual's connection with his creator.”

“Why do we perform then?” asked another student. “Don’t people sing to impress?” He added. “No!” said the Guru.” “We perform to share our joy with others!”

Since then the students had put in their heart and soul into every kriti (composition) they learnt. Classroom had become a centre of spiritual enlightenment. Bhakti rasa, karunya rasa, vatsalya rasa, veera rasa, shringara rasa...so many emotions came alive with their respective ragas. They also learnt about great spiritual leaders like Basavanna and  Akka Mahadevi who through their vachanas(compositions in the form of prose or poetry) strived to eradicate  the social evils such as discrimination based on caste and creed, prevalent in those times. The dedication of the Sangeetha Trimurtis- Saint Thyagaraja, Muthuswamy Dikshitar and Shyama Shastri inspired them to be more passionate about their work.

As they delved deeper into the vast ocean of knowledge their understanding of life improved tremendously. Their vision extended beyond the unseen, unknown, infinite and inexplicable. Their Guru helped them emerge from the darkness of ignorance. Vande Guru Paramparam.

Befriending Solitude

Tic- tock! Tick- tock! the sound of the clock magnified with each passing hour amidst the deafening silence. Life seemed to have come to a stand still. There was no commotion outside: neither people moving around nor the sound of vehicles. The creaky sound of the swing from the park, children screaming at each other, parents chatting amongst themselves, conversations of the outside world had gradually subsided.

Sumathy amma switched on the television. The daily soap was being aired. A family drama which she enjoyed watching many years ago seemed uninteresting, she couldn't relate to it anymore. She switched off the television, bored yet restless.

She thought of completing her pending chores. So many clothes to alter, ladies blouses and children's uniforms. Her fingers were sore , they refused to comply to her wishes after a hard day at work. She sat on the sofa gazing at the wall, her thoughts were the only companion at the moment.

Memories from the past flooded her mind. She could recollect her little daughter running around the house refusing to finish her food. “When will you grow up and learn to eat on your own.” “ I’m too tired now, stop troubling me!” She would often say. Life then had been so busy around family. Today she regretted saying that. Family was something that existed  back then. Her husband and daughter, her world. Every moment revolved around them.

 Years later, her daughter moved to her “rightful place” post wedding, busy making  a new home. Sumathy amma’s world shrunk a little, now fitting just the two of them. Husband and wife both gracefully accepted this new phase. They spent a lot of quality time together, reading, cooking, visiting temples, watching movies, dining out, listening to music and travelling. There was so much to explore even at this age. It seemed as though they had all the time on earth for themselves.

On a fateful day, a loving heart stopped beating. Sumathy amma’s husband's journey came to an end. We all come alone and go alone. Nothing remains except our sweet memories in this mortal world. Whether it rains or shines life must go on.

Sumathy amma tried hard to gather the broken pieces of her life and moved on. There was nobody she could go to nor anyone who needed her. It was against the rules of the society to expect anything from her daughter. “Anaatho daiva rakshakam"(meaning he who has no one is always taken care by the almighty.)-The popular phrase from the Bhagwad Gita  echoed in her ears. She sat clueless for hours trying to find a solution to overcome her despair.

The next day a lady came in “ Hello amma! I just read the board outside. Do you stitch ladies blouses?” “Yes Dear!” she replied, from then on there was no looking back. Sumathy amma was always busy with ladies of all age groups coming to her for tailoring work and petty alterations. Her skills gave her a new lease of life.

The darkness of the night had multiplied with every passing moment, what a long night it was! and well spent recollecting memories. She could soon hear the chirping of birds. What a relief! She was glad that it was time for sunrise! The new rays of the sun every morning, inspired her to live and love life.

A couple of hours later the gnawing silence faded away making way for conversations, queries, cheer and mirth. People came in one by one looking for her.Some of her customers would drop in for a chat and others to get their work done. These customers soon  became her friends and well wishers. Sumathy Amma greeted everyone with her lovely toothless smile. She got her share of happiness BEFRIENDING SOLITUDE!

“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself!”-Laurence Sterne

In Pursuit of Happiness

“Happy Children's day!” screamed the crazy bunch of friends, as they posed for a video followed by selfies! The entire neighbourhood lit up in joy watching these lovely mommies and their kids, celebrating together outside their homes. What made them special was their enthusiasm and simplicity. Bhoomi the beloved member of the group, distributed chocolates among one and all. Bhoomi , Vani and Savi were the most wonderful souls one could ever come across. Their love for life was amazing. It was their idea to celebrate children's day in this manner, bringing back memories of childhood. Their children too loved this novel idea of having a party with mommy and friends.

The happiest memories are associated with childhood, pure and blissful. As we grow older, we get so occupied with responsibilities that we forget the child in us. That little innocent soul who wants to explore the world, gain knowledge, discover new things, loves people as they are, gets completely engrossed in this materialistic world; forgetting the true essence of life- simplicity!

Happiness lies in small things, we get to hear this phrase quite often! The spiritual leaders talk about finding happiness within. How exactly does one learn to be HAPPY despite all the odds in life? When the mind is engulfed by darkness, heart filled with misery and insecurities. If we look around we can find a lot of unhappy people, dissatisfied with life. Eliminating the darkness within seems an impossible task. That is when people like Bhoomi Vani and Savi inspire us to take a new perspective towards the otherwise mundane life.

The beauty of life lies in simplicity. Spending time with family is more important than spending money on them. Bonding with loved ones over a small cup of coffee and conversation is far more satisfying than spending hours sulking about unnecessary things. Focusing on what to be done today makes more sense than worrying about the future. Asking for help is much better than pretending to be alright. Expecting less and accepting people as they are is more gratifying. Respecting another’s opinion without being offended brings peace. Spending time with people who love you brings joy.  Fill your heart with love for others, let the Ego perish. Be kind and good for no reason. Help people without expecting any favours. It’s the most minute things we need to focus on to find true happiness. Most importantly a positive approach towards life!

“Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with Love, Grace and Gratitude.”_ Denis Waitley.

The BITTER Self

Every individual has a bitter self- the negative emotion. Anger, hatred, envy, the list is endless. Both emotions positive and negative as a whole make a human persona. No individual is devoid of these emotions. Some of them let these negative emotions rule them, to such an extent that they subconsciously harm themselves and intentionally people around. Toxic people: as they are commonly referred to by those who dread their presence.

Understanding and Dealing with a Toxic Person:

Negativity:  They never see the good in any situation. Their pessimistic nature dampens the spirits of the most enthusiastic souls . They always wish the world comes to an end and so do their problems.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Help them change their perspective and acknowledge the beauty of life

Inflated Ego: Highly sensitive and egoistic, they cannot hear a word against themselves but are very good at picking others flaws. In any given situation they are always Right!

Perfection is a myth they should know. To err is human, bring them back to reality.

Self-pity : “I am the sufferer”; “I am the most hardworking” they are obsessive and cannot look beyond themselves. Using self pity to justify themselves, is something that they love the most.

Everyone has problems, you never know what others are going through. Help them shift focus from "me" to "we".

Envy: Someones happiness reminds them about their own misery.  Others success reminds them of their own failures.These individuals constantly compare themselves with Others, hence remain unhappy!

Contentment is the key to happiness, they need to know.

Revenge: They seek revenge for the smallest acts. Humiliating and laughing at people they dislike, for their own pleasure. Compassion does not exist in their dictionary.

Learning to let go brings peace. You cannot survive with an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth strategy.

Criticism: Toxic people often judge others, they never mind criticizing their near and dear ones for trivial reasons.They master the art of portraying people in a bad light.

The world is full of critics, ask them to be an encourager.

Irrational: They fail to realize that life does not go according to our plans. We need to adapt to Life. Hence Bitter!

Take life as it comes! They need to know.

Dominating: They try their best to control other people's  life because they have no control over their own. Literally suffocating their victims.

Educate them to live and let live!

Inconsistency: They are good to you when the need arises but stab you in the back when they perceive you as an obstacle in their path.

There is nothing more painful than having an enemy in disguise.

One who comes across Toxic people should know that distancing them is not the only solution.  Confrontation is the ideal way to put an end to the troubles they inflict. They can make life miserable if Ignored.

Life experiences are meant to enrich us. Accept the good things as blessings and the bad ones as lessons. Our inability to cope up with the adversities is what makes us bitter. Dealing with Toxic people is quite a task. Healing them with Compassion is the need of the hour.

“ Toxic people will not be changed by the Alchemy of your kindness. Yes! Be kind, but move on swiftly and let Life be their Educator.”_ Brendon Burchard.

Just a HOUSEWIFE!

Soaring past the white clouds scattered, in the vast blue sky was a great feeling. This is where she wanted to be. This is what she wanted to experience- ABSOLUTE FREEDOM. She aimed to reach the sun, moon and the stars. Taking charge as a pilot was a dream come true for Roohi. She was beaming with pride. All of a Sudden! she lost control, the plane seemed to be headed for a crash. She struggled to control the situation, alas!

Trrrrrrink! Trrrrrrink! rang the alarm bell. Roohi woke up startled and breathless,her heart beats racing. She desperately looked around only to find herself at home! Gosh!! Another dream, she was still alive, she pinched her self to make sure this was real. Oh my god! It was time for school. She rushed to wake up her daughters. Dressed them up, packed their Tiffin and sent them to school.

She sat sipping a hot cup of tea, thinking about her dream. “That’s never going to be true” she thought “I’m far from achieving it! Why does it trouble me every now and then!”

As she prepared breakfast for her husband, her mother in law walked into the kitchen. “We will have around six guests for lunch today. I would prefer Punjabi dishes on the menu. Make sure you are done by 1 pm!” Roohi obliged.

The otherwise dull living room came alive with non stop chatter! The guests seemed pretty excited, school friends had finally met over decades. Roohi entered the living room with a tray full of Punjabi starters: paneer tikka and tandoori baby corn. As she placed the dishes on the table her mother in law introduced her to her friends. “This is Roohi my daughter in law” she said. “ You have a lovely daughter in law Seema!” exclaimed a friend. “What do you do dear!” Asked another. “Oh! She's JUST A HOUSEWIFE ” her mother in law quickly replied as though there was nothing else to say about Roohi. “Aren’t you bored at home all day, have you never wished to work?” asked a friend. “Work? I will be very happy if she finds a job but managing home and kids, leaves her so exhausted. I don’t think she has time for a career !” snapped Seema; Roohi's mother in law.

Trapped in the conservative mind-set, Roohi had never focused on her dreams. She was far from being ambitious. She had always been told that family should be a woman's priority. Early marriage and two kids had taken up all her time. She only dreamt about freedom to live a life of her choice! Her mother in law's sarcastic statement crushed her self esteem.

While she was feeding her younger daughter in the evening , her elder daughter came running holding the news paper “Mamma look what I found, there is an Aviation Academy in our city. Why don’t you enroll for the pilot training course!” Pihu knew what her mother had been longing for, she had always seen the despair in her mother’s eyes. “It’s time you pursue your dreams Roohi.” came a voice from behind. It was Aashish, Roohi’s husband. “We can manage ourselves” he added. Pihu  jumped in excitement “ Yes momma! I will take care of my little sis, you don't worry.” Roohi was taken aback by the turn of events.

Before she realized what was happening, she could hear her mother in law screaming at Aashish. “Have you gone mad! You don’t care about your mother. You expect me to run the house at this age? Ridiculous!” a heated argument followed between the mother and son.

The next morning Roohi headed to the Aviation Academy with Aashish for an aptitude test. This was the most promising day of her life. As she awaited her turn at the academy a fellow candidate introduced herself “Hi I’m Neha! Pretty excited to be here.” Roohi smiled and said, "Same here!". "what do you do?” she casually asked the candidate. “Me? I’m JUST A HOUSEWIFE!” was her reply. Roohi quickly shot back “ Do your best today and you will never have to say that again!”

 As Walt Disney quotes “All your Dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them!”

A Day of Remembrance!

There comes a day in every one's life that reminds us about our existence-our BIRTHDAY! After having spent several years celebrating this special day with our friends, family, spouse and children, we come to a point wherein we start introspecting about the importance of this day. Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Each passing year brings a new perspective towards life!

Dhara walked into room no 2514 on the fifth floor of the private ward. A faint smile greeted her “Happy Birthday” wished her mother, “why are you here?” She asked “ you could have stayed at home today! your Dad is here as well, there was no need for you to spend your special day here with me!” Dhara sat beside holding her mother’s hand “ what better way to spend a Birthday, with the person who brought you to this world.” she thought. These were the most precious moments of Dhara’s life, “I'm very happy to be here with you ma,” she smiled “look I’m wearing a new outfit today, don’t I look Pretty?” she asked. ”You are looking very pretty my dear child!” remarked her mother.  She gently planted a kiss on her mother’s hand and put her head down.

 We all need our mother’s when we aren't feeling good, don't we? As a child whenever Dhara felt insecure she put her head on mother's  lap. This was her moment of peace, be it exam fear or a bad day, mother's presence made a huge difference. When she had fever, she would be happy to have mother by her side. One by one so many instances crossed her mind. When she got married, extremely nervous about her new life, mother was there to calm her fears.During all the difficult times, mother convinced that this too shall pass. When she was going through a difficult pregnancy, mother took great care of her ensuring her baby arrived safely to this world. At each and every step of life, during all the rough times mother had stood by her like a rock! Throughout, Dhara’s  mother had sacrificed a lot for her. 

Dhara had learned the true value of relationships from her mother. Unconditional love, dedication and compassion. Her mother was her Hero- she had also braved the odds in life. Mother was an epitome of strength and determination for Dhara. She gained her strength from her mother. 

Every birthday Mother would take Dhara and her sibling to the temple to seek blessings from the almighty. She always prayed for the well being and prosperity of her children like every parent does. Today it was Dhara praying hard for mother's speedy recovery. She felt extremely insecure, fear of losing mother made her very anxious and sad. “ Dhara please get me some water “ mother asked in a low voice. Dhara quickly handed her a glass of water. “ you've become like a mother to me now” she said. Dhara smiled “ I feel so calm when you are around!” exclaimed mother. Life had changed their roles, tears rolled down her eyes on hearing these words. 

 Relationships change with time, life has it’s own method of imparting lessons. Dhara was fortunate to be by her mother’s side in the time of need. We are where God wants us to be at that moment, every experience is a part of his divine plan.Dhara had always questioned the purpose of her life and today she had the answer! This day, had changed her outlook towards life! 

Mother gave up the mortal world and moved to a  better place! Dhara, stayed back to continue her impending journey with the same strength and determination as her mother's. Life is like a river, go with the flow! Live, Love and Embrace everything that you receive with a SMILE!

Bonding Over Bedtime Stories

Stories take us to a world of imagination. Every story with its unique characters, timeline, backdrop and values leave a lasting impact on us. A Child's face lights up at the mention of a story. We all have grown up listening to them from our mothers, grandparents and other family members. Here is a beautiful story of Aryan and Radha:   

Six year old Aryan loved story time, he would go to bed at sharp nine eager to hear new stories from his mother Radha every night. Radha had always been concerned about putting her child to bed early, so that he woke up at 6 am the next morning, without being cranky.

A good story and adequate hours of sleep can boost a child’s energy levels the next day. 

Communicating with a child is an important aspect of parenting. Children come home from school, watch television, eat and go out to play with their friends, homework takes up most of their time and there is hardly any time for parent-child interaction. 

Bedtime stories were a period of bonding for Radha and Aryan. There was so much she wanted to tell her child and so much she wanted to know from him. Aryan being hyperactive hardly spoke to his mother during the day. At bedtime Radha weaved magical stories to inculcate good values and morals in her child. If Aryan related to the story he would speak about his personal experiences with friends in the neighborhood and school, ask questions and gave his opinion in certain matters. This way Radha got to know about what her child feels when he steps out of home, his interaction with friends and his level of comfort with other members of the family. At times she would share her childhood memories to give him a feel of the way of life back then.

 A child needs to adapt to the environment, outside his comfort zone and most importantly learn to mingle with friends and teachers with whom he spends most of his day, without fear and inhibitions. Caring for friends, importance of sharing, learning to respect elders, peers and younger siblings, speaking the truth and taking responsibility for ones actions without blaming others, Radha taught him all. A good story imparts the right values.

A child’s mind is like a sponge, absorbing everything that happens in their surroundings. Although we may feel that children do not understand our words, our behavior conveys everything to them. There are children who do not speak their heart, it is very important to help them express themselves. Radha and Aryan developed a strong bonding over bedtime stories, from parent-child they moved on to become best friends, laughing over funny incidents and sharing secrets. Aryan graduated to become a good story teller; narrating stories that he heard from his teachers in school.

Bonding over bedtime stories was Radha’s way of strengthening her relationship with her child. What is your method of bonding with your child? Please do share! I would like to hear from you :)

Take Life As It Comes!

Shataayur  Vajra Dehaaya

Sarva Sampat Karaayacha

Saarvarishta Vinashaya

Nimbakam Dala Bhakshanam

The meaning of above shloka is

"Let my body remain strong, like a diamond,
for a hundred years; O Lord, give me wealth
and prosperity; with the prayer that all the
bad in this world be destroyed, I eat this
mixture of neem buds and jaggery."

Bevu-bella-(a mixture of neem and jaggery) is the essential part of Ugadi celebrations. As mom placed a spoonful of bevu bella in our hands, she asked us to recite the above shloka followed by a prayer “Dear god come what may, good or bad, highs or lows, happiness or pain, give us the strength to take life as it comes with a smile.” We were too young to understand the significance of her words, but right from childhood we repeated this prayer after her on every Ugadi festival.

When you're born human you have to live your  share of good and bad times. In this Life time we make the best memories and the worst one's too. Life comes with its own challenges and one important lesson we learn is that hardships are inevitable. As humans we have to live our share of bad days as well, we can neither blame life nor hold anyone responsible for it. It is these values given by mom that gave us the strength and determination to brave all the odds!

Acceptance is very crucial for a balanced approach towards life. There are times when we fume in frustration, why is life so unfair? Why do we have to go through troubles when we have done no harm to others? It is very obvious for such thoughts to bother us every now and then. The only way to find inner peace is by accepting things the way they are; which helps to cease the conflict between our mind and the heart.

Comparison is self- destructive and mom always said that by comparing ourselves to others we disrespect life. Each one of us is unique, our lives are meant to be different and the day we realize this we will never crib or complain. Being thankful is one of the greatest values we learnt from her. 

It is a parent who helps a child adapt to the ways of the world. The values they impart and the lessons we learn are priceless. We may not realize the significance of their words but one fine day we will know their importance and learn to respect them for everything they did for us. A child sees the world through the eyes of the parents. Of all the gifts life has given us the greatest of them all is MOTHER!